GET A KNIFE!!!!!

Creativity has been appreciated since the creation of universe.Humans are undoubtedly the most creative beings on earth...We have shown it in all fields...Technology, Art, Science, Society....u name it....But here is another form...Beware...for this can simply change all the notions described above...coz u would find this really hard to appreciate...and if you find a knife in your hand by the time you reach the end, plz dont scream[at me, of course!]!!!!!!!!...So here are some fetid fantasies for you to fight with.....

>>>>>>

NO>>1

There was a guy called Mark[[[[he is history now,you'll soon find out all about it]]]]].While treading through desolate roads,while trying to understand the meaning of life,Mark stumbled upon a PASSAGE...an eerie one...He entered it.

With a loud thud the huge iron door of the passage closed automatically. Mark was bewildered.He cried out...SMS SMS [[[[1st sms = save my soul...the second was send from his mobile to his friend asking to get him out of the passage..]]]] Soon, the friend arrived with the fire force...They used a crane and broke the roof of the passage and then pulled Mark out...But grievously the crane brought only half of Mark...[[[[yes...the inevitable happened..]]]] You would be gaping your mouth wide open to know the reason....but Sorry...Rattle your brains and find out...you Cant??? 

>>>ANSWER>>>

YOU LOSE HALF THE MARK FOR LIFTING FROM THE PASSAGE

NO>>2

There was a guy called Mark[[[[ well its not the same Mark...this is another one...the old Mark is resting peacefully, somewhere beneath the earth with a stone above him with the scribbling R.I.P]]]] . This Mark wanted to get selected to the Army...but he had the weakest of frames [[[[the chassis of a rusty cycle was better than his body]]]]...He wrote the written test and passed...But he was sure to fail for the medical test...coz he was under-weight[[[[years of malnutrition had reduced it to just 3.1 stone]]]]....Just before the examination of body weights, Mark was struck with an idea...He took his pen drive and placed it on his head...

Know what...he passed the medicals.......HOW????????? 

>>>ANSWER>>>

COZ A PEN DRIVE IS A MASS STORAGE DEVICE[[[[doubt it...?? insert a usb in to ur PC and then click on safely remove hardware...VOILA...i am ryt..ryt???]]]]

NO>>3

There was this murderer named Mark[[[[This is not the Mark who got suspended from the army{yep! he eventually did earn it} or the other one who hasn't resurrected yet..This is yet another Mark...]....He used to kill people for fun.Mysteriously...all the corpses of the people he murdered would float in  air....Have you got any idea HOW??

>>>ANSWER>>>

COZ MARK WAS A MASS[pun intended] MURDERER

NO>>4

There was this tennis player called MARK[[[[im sorry that all these guys are Marks...]]]]...Once he saw a Saint.He was chanting "OME OME"...An inquisitive mark asked him why he was chanting this divine and dignified lexeme.The saint replied that he was hungry and he was reciting it so as to forget his hunger...Mark was struck with an idea[Now this Mark wasnt bright as our Mass storage Mark!!! but yet he had ideas]. He led the saint to a tennis court.He made the saint sit on one side while he served from the other.All his shots accurately collided with net...Rather interestingly,after some time the saint had a filled tummy....INQUIZZITIVE WANNA KNOW HOW??

>>>ANSWER>>>

A SERVE ONTO THE NET IS CALLED "LET". AS THE SAINT WAS ALREADY HAVING THE "OME"S HE HAD NO DIFFICULTY IN ACQUIRING THE "LET"S TO MAKE "OMELET"S WHICH HE WHOLE HEARTEDLY CONSUMED...

NO>>5

There was a big pig and a small pig[dont worry,the pig's name is not mark]...Once the small pig got a cut in his hand...Blood began oozing out.A concerned BIG PIG exclaimed.."eat it small pig...its edible!!' ...The small pig couldnt make anything out of the fatuity...Then why did the BIG PIG utter such stupidity[it rhymes..wow..]??

>>ANSWER>>

 A SMALL PIG IS CALLED A PIGLET...LIKEWISE WE CAN CALL A SMALL CUT "CUTLET"...AND THE LAST TIME I HEARD CUTLETS WERE STILL EDIBLE[unless, of course if it is from INDIAN COFFEE HOUSE]

I know that only a few of you would have made it till here...anyway i am pleased...and you may be hoodwinked...but dont say that i didnt warn you 

P.S:

>>1>>If you have indeed got a knife in your hand now,you better place it back in the kitchen before mom finds out...

>>2>>If you are not intending to leave it...dont blame me for it..

>>3>>The author is not responsible for any suicidal temptations of the reader formed due to this seemingly excruciating blasphemy

>>4>>This CREATION is copyrighted[well...not really] and anyone copycats would be punished...{BEWARE...the author is rather famous for his cacophonous compositions of curses]...

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